May 2013
113 posts
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If only limerence were a facebook relationship status my life would be so much more honest.
My stomach started making funny boiling noises so my roommate looked up and farted at me. True love. I am so happy to be here with her again. (Modern companionship is mutual silence on different screens together.)
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Just want you all to know I’ve been looking to find a good yellow dress for FULLY half a year, now, and just last weekend I passed a BEAUTIFUL one (the FIRST AND ONLY REALLY PERFECT ONE) on clearance in Target but it was XS so instead I had to get it for my little sister. Try to imagine this act of vicarious charity. HAHA I ALMOST TYPED TRAGEDY BY ACCIDENT. Calm down, Freud, okay. Epilogue:...
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What is my family?
Parents and siblings. Grandparents. Aunts and uncles, cousins, foster- and second-cousins. Best friends and their immediate families. Boyfriend. Boyfriend’s immediate family. Roommate. Woven-up school friends.
Who are my people?
My family. Rescue squad. Co-workers and managers. Associates or extended friends. Predominantly-internet friends. Recluses and hermits and...
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Taking a five-week sociology course about The Family. On the first day of class we learned: it is impossible to define The Family.
Guy: What do girls do at sleepovers?
Me: Pass the Bechdel test.
What if I don’t change my major. Can I tolerate another two years of school and debt. No. Has anyone ever been this stubbornly indecisive. Ten years from now, what will be my biggest regrets. All the puppies I never kissed. All the books I didn’t read. Yes. My life goals are crazy-dog-ladydom in a library cabin in the woods. Where is that major. Who will let me take those classes. Who...
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Oh my GOD why does transferring from a summer literature class to an art class make me want to cry THIS IS DISGUSTING. There is no reason to be sad. I am doing what I want! I am taking charge! I am leaving something I hated in favor of something better! And I am upset about it!
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Sibling Bonding:
sitting silently beside each other at the dining table, doing two separate silent things on our two separate phones, while our feet absorb not-so-foreign heat because at some point we realized we’ve been touching each other for ages accidentally but we’re quite content to stay here and be different people very close together
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Just remembering one time I was complaining about how expensive it is to send boxes to Afghanistan and my brother offered to pay half of the next one. Even though he wasn’t sending anything himself. And he said, yeah, but it’s an investment - your relationship is important to my future. It only costs fourteen dollars to mail things to Afghanistan.
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COMPOSITE JELLYFISH
mandatorymomjeans:
wish i could teach bug to play fur elise/wish i was 5’10”//wish i didn’t feel like crying every time i heard ‘taps’/wish my insides were pinwheels/wish my mind wasn’t this awful quagmire/wish i knew everything instantly/wish i threw up sequins & good vibes
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I am a person of few real talents but among them:
wrapping the paper tapes on rolled-up silverwares
packing any suitcases efficiently
inebriated Taboo
hugs
tacowitch:
I’m just saying that anyone who isn’t down with dandelions isn’t to be trusted.
#they’re just cool little flowers that turn into wishes #what’s wrong with you
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“I’m gonna beat you up.”
– The brother just got on my facebook page to leave a happy birthday message to the biggest strongest guy at work.
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When people ask how college plans are going
berracattack:
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If I can't get a job after I graduate
whyamiamusicmajor:
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vanilleae:
abhorticulture replied to your post: abhorticulture replied to your post: No TILT lists…
let’s all live in andrew’s house
…this is actually a flawless plan
We’ll all bring suitcases to the party tomorrow.
bloner:
things that should be allowed to be used in essays:
i shit you not
you feel me
no but get this
i’m just sayin
let me explain you a thing
and yeah
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Every time I say something in Spanish to the thirteen-year-old she responds with a long string of French and it just occurred to me she could be making it all up and I would have no idea.
javeliner:
think about the concept of a library. that’s one thing that humanity didn’t fuck up. we did a good thing when we made libraries
ceejay-from-san-andreas:
smattenhove:
cacen:
teapartyasian:
Is there a word that’s a mix between angry and sad
malcontented, disgruntled, miserable, desolated
smad.
two kinds of people
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MY BROTHER IS THE BEST MOST GENEROUS PATIENT...
Upside to having to move to just a minor in Education is I’ll have to do Spanish Study Abroad next summer! No disappointment there! Aqui voy!
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I left my window open and now my room is a mosquito hive.
[[MORE]]This is equally bad as the fact that I’ve been kicked out of the education program (YES THAT HAPPENED SURPRISE) unless I can replace my grades next semester (not possible because my school is small so they only offer classes once a year or so). My best friend is miserable in Ohio, my other best friend is in Colorado with her...
10 tags
I AM STARTING A GYM CLASS IN FIVE DAYS AND I’M GOING TO HAVE TO DO IT ALL DRESSED IN COFFEE MUGS.
Things That Do Not Exist In My Wardrobe In Any Way, Not Even Old Ones, Nothing:
No sports bras
No running shoes
No sweat pants? No yoga pants? What do people wear to exercise?
No shorts of any kind
Not even running shorts
No swimsuit
No black belt for work
No work pants that fit
No dress pants at all
No non-slip work shoes
No sandals or flip-flops
No teacher-y blouses or blazers
...
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I hate shopping for clothes so much I accidentally bought a dozen coffee mugs instead of anything I went in there for.
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Hey! I! Spontaneously took the CLEP exam for American Government! Today! And! I got the score I needed! For college! Credit! Who studies for these things! God bless! I am a United Statesian! Virginia is for Lovers! Amen!
theoceanofconsciousness:
I want you to live with me. I want dogs with you. I want yours mine and ours forever.
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So much of me does not want to confess that part of the reason I’m thinking of moving from an Education major to a minor is because teachers are supposed to stay in one place but here I am with a Marine. And finally I mentioned it to him on the phone, and he laughed, and said he’d support whatever I want to do, but he’d been thinking he could be happy if he had to leave the military to be a math...
porcelain-mirror:
I’m either ecstatic about life or I’m utterly hopeless about everything. There is no inbetween
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mandatorymomjeans:
i’m tyrna explain to this dude that round foods are superior to other shaped food. they are better tasting in the same way that foods automatically taste better in a bowl, you know? similar to the way the first bite of something is the best (like when you bite into an apple and it’s perfect but by the end you regret it because you’re stuck with the core)
